I've been told I look really young for my age. No one has ever been able to guess my age correctly. It is only after a conversation then they'll guess the age range correctly. Hmm I can't complain, won't change anything!
This got me thinking, if I was able to astral project and go back to the past and meet my younger self what would I tell her? I would love to right a lot of wrongs but then I realised a lot of these wrongs have made me wiser and stronger. I'm a big softy, don't be fooled my façade. It is just that life has taught me to be brave, fearless and wise now these things I would not want to lose. Would I loved to have learnt it differently and in a less painful way? Yes, definitely, but sometimes lessons leave scars which serve as reminders of triumphs. Scars show healing, restoration and progression embrace them.
Nonetheless if I did meet my younger 18 year old self these are the 11 things I'll tell her.
1) Humble yourself, you don't need to defend your point all the time. Lord knows how many arguments I got myself in, especially with adults. I would prove my point to the T, so they know they've acted stupidly. I would not stop. I was very argumentative and it didn't help the fact that I was pursuing a law/legal career. I was queen of debates amongst my friends. It's okay to reply, it's okay. Someone, once, close to me always used to say, "faite, just let it go"- ooooh my days that used to push my buttons because deep down I knew it was the truth but I didn't want to back down!
2) It is ok to say NO. You don't have to help and give at all times because people will take advantage of your kindness, money, resources and time. Little miss helpful I was, I loved and still do to make sure everyone around me is comfortable, I would go all out heart and soul for people but in return all they've shown is their backs. I've given people, not someONE but PEOPLE money and they've never returned it (if you know me you know you don't mess with Faite's monies) that has been one of the biggest lessons I've learnt. I've invested time and life has shown me how cruel people can be. I've tried to be extremely selfless but it's ok to take care of self, to be a little selfish with your possessions and especially your time. You don't need to carry everyone's burden nor be their voice of reason they need to develop their own. Humans will suck your love tank dry and not once refuel.
3) kick the habit of procrastination in the butt! Do not waste time being idle. Just sitting there in fact lying there because you're probably just in bed, doing nothing when you know you have things to do. Do not leave things to the last minute. I could have accomplished so much more if I was not so lazy and stopped telling myself, "I'll do it later."
4) Stop mental planning and Stick to your goals. Planning involves physically writing things not making mental notes of what you want in the future. You need to see it, believe it and own it. Your mind can be easily flooded with distractions and your mental note and your vision of it becomes blurred. Write the plan and you stick to it. Lord knows how many times I changed my mind on things I'll start and never finish. I'd pinned it down to the belief that because I'm overly ambitious I just want to do everything. Nope! You stray and wonder when you don't have a sense of direction! That's why you need to have the vision written down, clear, visible and you stick to it come rain or shine!
5) Learn to forgive. People can make mistakes and you ought to give then second chances, allow them that chance and don't deny them that opportunity to redeem themselves. I used to always say, "I don't do second chances, once I'm done I'm done." I applied this to EVERY aspect of my life, it made it very easy to cut people of and completely disconnect with them. However I got to learn and accept that not everyone will have a heart like mine. Not everyone will love, care and treat others like how you do. Do not measure people by your standards because they'll always fall short. Learn to accept people as they are so you don't end up disappointed.
6) Do not hate Marriage. Marriage is a beautiful concept and covenant between two serious and mature people. Goodness, I used to wave the anti-marriage flag so high it was ridiculous, if you knew me my favourite saying was, "I'm going to be a nun." To be honest, at times I slyly still want to. Lol! I had seen so many failed relationships/marriages that in that area I honestly didn't see hope. I wasn't going to waste my time being with someone for it to then fall apart after investing so much, I would rather save myself the heartache. That was literally my thinking. It is until you stand in love (we don't fall round here) that you realise how love is so beautiful. Despite how annoying the person can be at times, when your souls intertwine on that deeper level it's special. Crave a love so deep that the Ocean will be jealous. When you love them, love them with all your might and never let them go.
7) Don't put your life on hold for other people to live theirs. Don't put your life on standby so others can make their dreams a reality whilst you watch. There's nothing wrong in helping people but not when it's extremely detrimental on your part. That is negligence of the highest calibre. I gave up a lot of things I wanted to do so people could have what they wanted. In return I had to play catch up with
my future. It's not worth it. For your kids yes do it because you should have achieved a moderate amount of things in life by then but for adults, grown folks who never did much for their lives nor considered their future, don't delay your life. It is short as it already.
8) It is ok to cry. It's ok to release your frustrations not everything needs to be bottled up. I never wore my heart on my sleeve or my face. It's okay to open up and speak with people, not every battle needs to be faced alone. Let go of the problem. I harboured everything in, pains, problems and anger. I would bottle everything, it just felt so much easier my secrets were mine and a million and one times over they killed me but I would never cry or speak out, for the sake of people not knowing my business. However I think deep down I pondered if people would honestly care to help and not turn away? However it is okay to ask for help, you can't be superwoman all the time, give people the chance to be nice to you that little benefit of the doubt actually goes a long way.
9) Be patient. Learn to slow down you can't quick fix your way into everything. You can't have everything you want when you want it, sometimes you need to allow whatever it is to mature and marinate in growth before you acquire it. Sometimes things given too soon are abused and premature blessings are often taken advantaged of. It's ok to take time with things. When the fullness of time has arrived you'll enjoy it a lot more.
10) The more friends, the more drama. The less friends the easier your life will be. Make your circle tight, vet these close friends and don't bring unnecessary people into your circle. Now I'm not saying don't go and make new friends etc have loads of associates but you need an inner circle network that knows you and keeps you. People come in and out of your life seasonly but loyalty and genuine love are the binding cords of all friendships. If they can't present you with that their motives are questionable. Some people like you because of what you bring to table can help them, either your status, connections, pockets and even your talents. Be careful of such people they are the kind that'll suck your love tank dry!
11) Don't awaken love when you're not ready for it. Take your time to grow and mature to nature a situation to blossom into a good thing. Allow yourself to be educated in Love languages so you act appropriately and do more good then harm. A lot of the times we have gotten ourselves in predicaments because we rushed into it stupidly therefore bore the consequences of it, to later on have regrets and a list of shoulda, coulda, woulda. A lot of us could have saved ourselves a lot of heartaches if we had never gotten into certain situations, some could even avoid certain soul ties. Point being here is, there will always be a time to love and ravish in companionship, always, but give yourself the chance to grow, the chance to WAIT. Waiting does not mean you lose out never but rather patience is a virtue. It is the ability to understand that things happen at certain opportune times therefore you need to be able to wait until the fullness of time has come to acquire what is yours.
I would like to add that I should have differently told my younger self to buy a house by 21 straight after uni. 18-21 are your most active financial years and your credit is amazing and everyone wants your monies! My younger self was very independent and wise with finances and other aspects of life but these definitely be like the first 11 things well maybe 12 then that I'll tell her!
What would you tell yourself?
Born a legend to leave a legacy.
This got me thinking, if I was able to astral project and go back to the past and meet my younger self what would I tell her? I would love to right a lot of wrongs but then I realised a lot of these wrongs have made me wiser and stronger. I'm a big softy, don't be fooled my façade. It is just that life has taught me to be brave, fearless and wise now these things I would not want to lose. Would I loved to have learnt it differently and in a less painful way? Yes, definitely, but sometimes lessons leave scars which serve as reminders of triumphs. Scars show healing, restoration and progression embrace them.
Nonetheless if I did meet my younger 18 year old self these are the 11 things I'll tell her.
1) Humble yourself, you don't need to defend your point all the time. Lord knows how many arguments I got myself in, especially with adults. I would prove my point to the T, so they know they've acted stupidly. I would not stop. I was very argumentative and it didn't help the fact that I was pursuing a law/legal career. I was queen of debates amongst my friends. It's okay to reply, it's okay. Someone, once, close to me always used to say, "faite, just let it go"- ooooh my days that used to push my buttons because deep down I knew it was the truth but I didn't want to back down!
2) It is ok to say NO. You don't have to help and give at all times because people will take advantage of your kindness, money, resources and time. Little miss helpful I was, I loved and still do to make sure everyone around me is comfortable, I would go all out heart and soul for people but in return all they've shown is their backs. I've given people, not someONE but PEOPLE money and they've never returned it (if you know me you know you don't mess with Faite's monies) that has been one of the biggest lessons I've learnt. I've invested time and life has shown me how cruel people can be. I've tried to be extremely selfless but it's ok to take care of self, to be a little selfish with your possessions and especially your time. You don't need to carry everyone's burden nor be their voice of reason they need to develop their own. Humans will suck your love tank dry and not once refuel.
3) kick the habit of procrastination in the butt! Do not waste time being idle. Just sitting there in fact lying there because you're probably just in bed, doing nothing when you know you have things to do. Do not leave things to the last minute. I could have accomplished so much more if I was not so lazy and stopped telling myself, "I'll do it later."
4) Stop mental planning and Stick to your goals. Planning involves physically writing things not making mental notes of what you want in the future. You need to see it, believe it and own it. Your mind can be easily flooded with distractions and your mental note and your vision of it becomes blurred. Write the plan and you stick to it. Lord knows how many times I changed my mind on things I'll start and never finish. I'd pinned it down to the belief that because I'm overly ambitious I just want to do everything. Nope! You stray and wonder when you don't have a sense of direction! That's why you need to have the vision written down, clear, visible and you stick to it come rain or shine!
5) Learn to forgive. People can make mistakes and you ought to give then second chances, allow them that chance and don't deny them that opportunity to redeem themselves. I used to always say, "I don't do second chances, once I'm done I'm done." I applied this to EVERY aspect of my life, it made it very easy to cut people of and completely disconnect with them. However I got to learn and accept that not everyone will have a heart like mine. Not everyone will love, care and treat others like how you do. Do not measure people by your standards because they'll always fall short. Learn to accept people as they are so you don't end up disappointed.
6) Do not hate Marriage. Marriage is a beautiful concept and covenant between two serious and mature people. Goodness, I used to wave the anti-marriage flag so high it was ridiculous, if you knew me my favourite saying was, "I'm going to be a nun." To be honest, at times I slyly still want to. Lol! I had seen so many failed relationships/marriages that in that area I honestly didn't see hope. I wasn't going to waste my time being with someone for it to then fall apart after investing so much, I would rather save myself the heartache. That was literally my thinking. It is until you stand in love (we don't fall round here) that you realise how love is so beautiful. Despite how annoying the person can be at times, when your souls intertwine on that deeper level it's special. Crave a love so deep that the Ocean will be jealous. When you love them, love them with all your might and never let them go.
7) Don't put your life on hold for other people to live theirs. Don't put your life on standby so others can make their dreams a reality whilst you watch. There's nothing wrong in helping people but not when it's extremely detrimental on your part. That is negligence of the highest calibre. I gave up a lot of things I wanted to do so people could have what they wanted. In return I had to play catch up with
my future. It's not worth it. For your kids yes do it because you should have achieved a moderate amount of things in life by then but for adults, grown folks who never did much for their lives nor considered their future, don't delay your life. It is short as it already.
8) It is ok to cry. It's ok to release your frustrations not everything needs to be bottled up. I never wore my heart on my sleeve or my face. It's okay to open up and speak with people, not every battle needs to be faced alone. Let go of the problem. I harboured everything in, pains, problems and anger. I would bottle everything, it just felt so much easier my secrets were mine and a million and one times over they killed me but I would never cry or speak out, for the sake of people not knowing my business. However I think deep down I pondered if people would honestly care to help and not turn away? However it is okay to ask for help, you can't be superwoman all the time, give people the chance to be nice to you that little benefit of the doubt actually goes a long way.
9) Be patient. Learn to slow down you can't quick fix your way into everything. You can't have everything you want when you want it, sometimes you need to allow whatever it is to mature and marinate in growth before you acquire it. Sometimes things given too soon are abused and premature blessings are often taken advantaged of. It's ok to take time with things. When the fullness of time has arrived you'll enjoy it a lot more.
10) The more friends, the more drama. The less friends the easier your life will be. Make your circle tight, vet these close friends and don't bring unnecessary people into your circle. Now I'm not saying don't go and make new friends etc have loads of associates but you need an inner circle network that knows you and keeps you. People come in and out of your life seasonly but loyalty and genuine love are the binding cords of all friendships. If they can't present you with that their motives are questionable. Some people like you because of what you bring to table can help them, either your status, connections, pockets and even your talents. Be careful of such people they are the kind that'll suck your love tank dry!
11) Don't awaken love when you're not ready for it. Take your time to grow and mature to nature a situation to blossom into a good thing. Allow yourself to be educated in Love languages so you act appropriately and do more good then harm. A lot of the times we have gotten ourselves in predicaments because we rushed into it stupidly therefore bore the consequences of it, to later on have regrets and a list of shoulda, coulda, woulda. A lot of us could have saved ourselves a lot of heartaches if we had never gotten into certain situations, some could even avoid certain soul ties. Point being here is, there will always be a time to love and ravish in companionship, always, but give yourself the chance to grow, the chance to WAIT. Waiting does not mean you lose out never but rather patience is a virtue. It is the ability to understand that things happen at certain opportune times therefore you need to be able to wait until the fullness of time has come to acquire what is yours.
I would like to add that I should have differently told my younger self to buy a house by 21 straight after uni. 18-21 are your most active financial years and your credit is amazing and everyone wants your monies! My younger self was very independent and wise with finances and other aspects of life but these definitely be like the first 11 things well maybe 12 then that I'll tell her!
What would you tell yourself?
Born a legend to leave a legacy.
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